she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
