i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Green mimosas i think yes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
