This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
