once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
