You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
