I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
