Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Alive.
So much puke
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
