Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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