Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
