I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
