its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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