Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
