Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
