found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
