Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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