Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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