I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
