Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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