I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
