dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
