WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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