Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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