At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
