so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
