dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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