The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize