oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
