Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
