Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
