new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
