what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
