he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
