if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
