i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize