I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
