Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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