He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
