I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
