nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
