we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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