Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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