How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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