i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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