I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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