It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
