I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
