OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
