I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
