Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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