Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize