Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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