Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize