I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
