at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
