I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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