stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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