this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
