I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my poor anus
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
