Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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