Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
