Kiss
Puke
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
