your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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