Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
