I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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