How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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