We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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