dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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