i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
