Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
